Wanted
by sparkycola1
Summary: Harper Angst- A part of Harper's past catches up with him


   Title: WANTED (Harper angst)

Author: Sparkycola  

Spoilers- don't think so

Rating: R (I think)

Summary- HARPER ANGST! Beka and Trance know something about Harper's past that is killing him, but they swore not to tell…         

Disclaimer-if the crew of the andromeda were mine, do you really think I would be sitting here writing this fanfic.

Author's note- Ok, this is my first fic so it's a little raw but I thought I'd post it anyway...Please r and r anyway

"Despair exaggerates not only our misery, but also our weakness"

                                        Marquis de Vauvenarques 

Here goes…

Harper was past overtired. Past exhausted. His numb body refused to accept that after 5 days without sleep, and only the barest minimal of slushy grey "food" that after 5 days of beatings, helplessness, desperation, hopelessness and pain, so much pain, that he couldn't sleep. He would have laughed. Nothing about his situation was funny, except that he had seriously thought, for the first two days that somebody would come to save him. He would have laughed; that cold, hate filled laughter that he had used all the time on earth but what was the point. It would waste energy that he couldn't afford to lose and besides, there was nobody in the cold, dark cell to hear him. He tried in vain to stop his eyelids closing but they felt like lead. His body relaxed, for less than a second, and the electric charge that pulsed through him reawakened every bruise, scratch, cut, burn, broken bone and the pain in his arms at having been held there for 5 days. He had promised himself that he would never be in this situation ever again. So much for that. 

*                *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *   

     Beka Valentine stared in fascinated horror at the viewscreen in front of her. The broken, used and abused body of _her_ little brother, a member of _her _crew hung on the wall like the results of a game hung on the notice board to humiliate the loser. But this wasn't a game. And those bastards would pay. 

   Captain Dylan Hunt. One of the best high guard captains. Survived for over 300 years, with the pride of the high guard fleet under his command, along with a nietzschean mercenary, a magog, a mysterious alien who could predict possible futures, the best pilot he'd ever known, and the robot version of a warship. Helpless. There was nothing he could do but watch. And swear that he would not let Harper die. 

   Harper was the best engineer he'd ever come across. The boy really was a genius. Without him, his chances of survival were reduced. That was the only reason he cared. Or that's what he kept telling himself. He wondered how one mudfoot child could survive 5 days of nietzschean torture. The ship needed an engineer and Harper was the most efficient. That was all. Besides Harper was his brother. Damn.

Rommie's eyes were full of water, but she wouldn't cry. Harper wasn't dead and they would save him. He had made her. He was her _engineer_. She had a feeling that Harper thought he was alone. If he'd known they were watching he would have tried painfully at some lame joke. Why? Why did he always do that? Why was he always getting into trouble? Why couldn't she protect him, WHY? She cried despite herself. They had to save him. She wasn't leaving until he was chucking empty sparkys on the floor and flirting badly with her again. 

She would not lose Harper again, she wouldn't. If only she could think straight, she could see the perfect future. But this wasn't about the future, it was about the past, Harper's past. This was wrong, they needed Harper in the perfect possible future, he was a key part. She couldn't let him die.

A tear slipped down Beka's cheek. She would make them pay.  Dylan, Tyr and Rommie didn't even know what was going on, and she had sworn to Harper that she wouldn't tell them. She remembered like it was yesterday…

                                                     TBC

Part 2- All that is me

    I have wandered far and wide for

    Something real something to die for

    But I have found you, and you do not see

    All that is me all that is true

                               Vanessa Carlton-Wanted

  It was about a year after they met. Beka stormed down the corridors of the Eureka Maru holding a flexi.

  "HARPER!"

Engineering. Harper hesitantly crawled out from underneath a conduit, but Beka pulled him out roughly and slammed him against a wall. Shit this was all too familiar…no, Beka was different, she wouldn't hurt him. He looked at the flexi. She had found out. He'd known this day would come. He closed his eyes as she read it out. 

 "Wanted-short, blonde, mudfoot going by the name Seamus Harper. Guilty of theft, and the murder of 7 Nietzscheans. Reward-1000 thrones. What the hell is this Harper?!" 

  "Beka, boss I'm sorry, I…it was on earth...I just…"

  "Justwhat?! Why didn't you tell me?"

  "Isn't it obvious? You always need more money, but you certainly DO NOT need a wanted criminal on board"

Neither had noticed Trance and Rev at the door to engineering until Trance spoke. 

  "Beka, please don't hand him over, they'll kill him. He's saved our lives loads of times…"

  "Why do you all think I'm going to hand him over?"

  Harper looked her in the eyes. 

   "Because if you don't you'll put the whole crew in danger; boss you have to."

   "I'm not handing over a member of my crew to die"

   "Boss it's only a matter of time before they find me"

   "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it…"

*                *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *   

Well they were at the bridge, and it was one big river. Why were they showing them this? Tears spilled over but she quickly wiped them away. They would save him. Why were they all just watching this happen?

   "We are going to save Harper."

Dylan closed his eyes against this nightmare.

  "How?"

 Rommie came up behind Beka to back her up.

  "We will find a way."

  "If we fire on them they will kill Harper"

  "If we do nothing they will kill the boy, why do you give up so easily Dylan? If they wanted to join the commonwealth, you wouldn't stop coming up with ideas"

 Tyr said angrily. Dylan forced himself to get back into high guard captain mode.

  "That's _not_ true, look, if they are holding Harper hostage, then what is it that they want? They still haven't contacted us yet so they must want information about Andromeda's weaknesses, Harper is the obvious choice-"

  "No." Trance interrupted matter-of-factly.

  "Trance-"

  "No Beka, don't you see? It's too late for that now, they need to know."

 "Tell me what's going on," Dylan snapped. He didn't have time for this; his crew were keeping secrets from him that could cost Harper his life. Trance went over to a console and tapped in a code. Rommie looked up in confusion.

  "What are you…oh no"

  "What is it?"

Dylan and Tyr looked at Rommie. Beka and Trance looked away. Rommie read out the flexi.

  "This is not good." 

Dylan turned on Beka and Trance angrily.

  "Why didn't you _tell_ me?"

  "Dylan we promised we wouldn't tell"

Beka said looking at the floor. Trance looked at Beka then at Dylan.

  "Harper thought that you would judge him for it, that with all the commonwealth laws, you'd put him in the brig, or hand him over."

  Dylan sighed. On the viewscreen Harper was being shocked again. He looked away. He couldn't stand the look of pain in his eyes, the look that said he had given up all hope and just wanted to die. This was his fault. It had been his idea to go off on a rescue mission on Helio, his idea to leave Harper on shore leave on his own. He had thought that Harper wouldn't mind, after all, Creus had great waves, and he had sent a message. On the other hand, he knew that Harper hated being left behind; he knew that Harper could find trouble _anywhere_.

   Beka would never forgive him if they didn't save him in time. Neither would Rommie. The truth was _he_ would never forgive himself. One thing still puzzled him. Why _were_ they showing them this? But then he realised. 

  "They are showing us this because they _want_ us to rescue Harper. This is a trap, they want us to try and break Harper out so that we get arrested for breaking out a criminal, no more commonwealth."

  "Betas."

But Dylan didn't hear him; an idea was forming and he didn't want to discourage it…

                        TBC

*                *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *   

 Part 3- Nor hope nor health

"Alas! I have nor hope nor health,

 Nor peace within nor calm around,

 Nor that content surpassing wealth

 The sage in meditation found."

                            Percy Bysshe Shelley 

Harper knew what was coming, but was too weak to stop it. The electric pulse that went through him shattered his weak body into millions of pieces for what seemed like forever. Finally it stopped. He remembered the last time he had been tortured by Nietz. It was still one of his worst nightmares, but since he met Beka, she was always there to wake him up, to comfort him. Beka promised she would always be there for him, where was she now? She never broke her promises…maybe she was in trouble, or dead. A tear slipped down his cheek. Maybe they were all dead. The hatred he had felt for them over the last few days wavered. He never learned; everybody he ever cared about always died. 

  "Beka..." he whispered.

*                *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *   

 Beka looked at the viewscreen as Harper whispered her name. It was a dark cell, but Beka could tell that he was hurt.

 "We haven't got much time"

 Beka couldn't stand the defeated sound in harpers voice, it scared her, Harper never gave up.

 "I've got an idea, Rommie, can you tell when the next shuttle is going to go from the prison ship to the planet?"

  "Yes, there is one more person they need to pick upon Creus before they move on, 20 minutes"

  "20 minutes?!  You're right Beka we _haven't_ got much time; this is what I want you to do….

*                *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *   

Rommie and Dylan were hard at work. Trance looked around nervously; she wasn't _entirely_ sure what to do. She was trying to make a one way message two-way, without the enemy knowing. Rommie and Dylan were trying to get a layout of the prison ship, including the positions of all personnel. She tried to concentrate, this was important. An image of Andromeda appeared on the screen in front of her.

 "Need some help?"

 Trance smiled.

Meanwhile; Beka and Tyr were walking towards the 2 Nietzscheans that had just got landed in there prison guard shuttle. It was a simple way of handling the situation, but it worked. They simultaneously got out their gauss guns and stunned them. 

"Betas." 

Tyr muttered once again. Beka gathered that Tyr didn't have a lot of time for Betas. She on the other hand just thanked the divine that the one sleeping guard of the hangar bay on Creus hadn't woken up. She injected the Nietz with a sedative and together they boarded the prison guard shuttle and casually flew off.

_Andromeda_-

"Thanks Andromeda."

"No problem Trance. Would you like to send a message?"

"Yes please; let's see if it worked…"

 "Two way connection enabled. Go Ahead."

 "Harper?-don't talk, you need to save your energy, it's Trance, were going to get you out, I think there are Nietzschean guards watching you so pretend you don't know I'm here. Just hold on a little longer Harper, Beka and Tyr are gonna get you out"

 This had been her idea; she couldn't stand him thinking they had given up on him. Besides, if they went in without him knowing he might think it was a trick. 

 "Harper, don't even _think_ of cracking some lame joke, just hold on."

Just then Trance heard Rommie on the other side of the room

"Got it."

She walked over to them and looked over Dylan's shoulder. There was a map with moving dots on it.

"Separating Tyr and Beka"

Two of the dot turned red. They were in the hangar bay…

Beka and Tyr-

"Hey, what are you doing?"

Tyr and a handcuffed Beka turned around. Tyr glared at the guard, who subconsciously took a step back.

 "This is my prisoner from Creus, we found her trying to escape, she ran right into us"

"Where's your partner" the guard asked obviously very suspicious

"He's staying on Creus, found a pretty female Kludge"

The guard smirked. 

"I don't recognise you…"

"I'm new"

"Pretty looking prisoner you got there-get some action on the way back?"

It took all Beka's self control not to hit him. She was quite proud of herself.

"Look, I'd love to stay and chat but I have a feeling this kludge will be especially…interesting to punish…if you know what I mean…"

Tyr felt disgusted at having to say that but he knew there was little time.

 "Yeah, sure"

The guard smirked again then walked off.

Beka and Tyr walked out of the hangar bay.

"That was close."

"Let's move"

At that point Dylan's voice came over the communication device Harper had recently made.

"Tyr, go left down this corridor, then straight on at the crossroads and then right."

The pair did as they were told and eventually found themselves outside of a cell door.

When they opened it up Beka was nearly sick…

*                *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *   

Part 4- Burn so pale

"I pray thee leave, love me no more

 Call home the heart you gave me,

 I but in vain the saint adore,

 That can, but will not, save me."

                        Michael Drayton

Tyr and Beka stood horrified at the site of their friend. As the light shone into the dark cell, they could see most of the injuries clearly. For a while they just stood there. Beka's stomach turned and she felt a mixture of horror, guilt, and anger. Those watching the viewscreen on the Andromeda felt the same sort of emotions, but Trance shook herself out of it as she noticed dots moving in on their position.

Beka jumped at the sound of Trance's voice.

 "Beka, Tyr, hurry up, there are guards coming."

Beka took off her own handcuffs and helped Tyr to free Harper. With extreme gentleness, Tyr took Harper in his arms, who, for his part, promptly fell unconscious. She took out her hidden gauss gun and they quickly went back the way they came.

 Dylan was still in shock, so Rommie took charge and told Tyr where to go.

  "Go left, then left again…there should be a room, it's empty-go in"

   The trio went in to the dark storage room and shut the door. A few seconds later they heard footsteps outside.

 "Stay, there's more."

They heard some more, and then quietly slipped out. They seemed to be going to a lot of lengths just for Harper. But she had no time to think about this as they rushed down the halls.

 "Turn right, and-"

 "Rommie?"

 "Hurry, Harper's life signs are weakening, Turn right then straight on"

  Beka's heart skipped a beat at those words, but she hurried on.

  Finally, they reached the hangar and the guard they had met on the way in. There were now five. They clambered on to the nearest ship, which luckily was fairly near the door and the guards surrounded them. Tyr growled. The engines had been locked and the hangar doors were not about to open. Beka was fiddling around under a console as soon as they got on board.

 "What are you doing?"

 "You don't spend 3 years on the maru with Harper without learning a few tricks of the trade"

At that point, the engines started up. Shocked guards began to back off.

"What about the doors?"

"I don't know"

 Tyr scanned the controls until he found the one he was looking for. Beka navigated carefully around the other planes as the guards outside began to fire on them. The small ship shuddered but held together. 

Beka heard something on the small ship power up and suddenly realised what Tyr was going to do. Setting the ship on autopilot as they approached the doors she ran to the back of the ship, where Harper was. She couldn't  find any blankets so she got down on the floor next to her unconscious engineer and held him; trying to be gentle but firm at the same time. 

There was a big explosion as Tyr blasted his way through the doors. They escaped with an army of bigger, faster, and overall better ships behind them. But they had Andromeda. Looking around as they got through, they also appeared to have a sizeable chunk of the commonwealth behind them. They were easily covered as they made their way back to the Andromeda. 

Again Tyr gently picked up Harper and got him to med bay. Trance tried to get them all to leave her while she worked, but she didn't have time to get Beka to go, so she let her stay. After 5 solid hours, Rommie ordered her to take a break and took over. Beka was sitting in a chair next to him, with dark circles under her eyes. 

 "You too Beka"

"I can't..."

"Beka, he's not waking up anytime soon-"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"It means that he has just been 5 days without sleep, and he needs to rest, so do you or you'll fall asleep when he does wake up"

Beka tiredly made her way to her bedroom. Or so she thought. As it happened she found herself in engineering. She sat down and started to cry as images flashed through her mind.

For Dylan the last few hours had been hell. He couldn't see his engineer because he was too busy fighting the prison ship, and when that was over, explaining the situation to the other commonwealth ships. He finally made an agreement with them, but he knew that Beka would not like it. There was nothing else he could do. The commonwealth would be putting Harper on trial in 6 months. He went to check on Harper and then to see Beka.

Beka looked around engineering. Harper was written all over it. The images started to turn to memories. Dylan came and sat down next to her interrupting her thoughts, she quickly wiped away the tears.

 "Beka, did Harper ever tell you about the people, the Nietzscheans that he…killed?"

"I asked him once, he told me."

"Well I can't ask him so I'm asking you, how did they happen?"

"3 of them were in self-defence, 3 more were with this grenade that he made…"

Dylan frowned, self-defence he could do, but a grenade…

"What about the other one?"

Beka suddenly had a far away look in her eyes

 "He was protecting his sister"

Flashback-

"I found an uber in a back alley with his gun pointed at my sister, so I killed him, before he killed her. Maybe I shouldn't have, she hated me for it"

"Why? You saved her life"

"Not really. I saved her from a quick painless death and threw her back into a long painful worse than death life, and she never forgave me for it. She killed herself right in front of me; the last thing she said was I hate you."

"Harper, you just wanted to help your sister"

"Can I go now?" he mumbled

"Sure"

*                *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *   

A few days later-

Andromeda's hologram appeared in front of Beka, Dylan, and Tyr, on command deck.

"Harper is waking up"

Without asking Beka left command heading for medical. Dylan nodded to Tyr and went after her. Tyr would see him when he was better, he didn't think Harper would appreciate seeing a nietzschean as soon as he woke up.  

Harper woke to see Beka and Trance standing over him. Dylan was standing nearby. They all had worried looks on their faces. Beka hugged him and he winced in pain. He pushed her off and struggled to sit up. Trance tried to help him, but he flinched at her touch. Beka looked him in the eyes. There was something…the sparkle-it was gone. Through all the years she had known him, no matter what; he had always had that sparkle. A chill ran down her spine.

"Harper..? Are you ok"

"Yeah, real peachy" he said sarcastically. He coughed; he hadn't used his voice in a while.

Beka frowned.

"Look Harper, we're sorry we left you, we-"

"Just leave me alone ok?"

Beka looked upset and stormed out. Dylan stepped forward. He knew Harper had been through a lot but the last few days had been hell for Beka. He took a deep breath. 

"Harper, why didn't you tell us about this?"

"You never asked now if you don't mind I'm tired."

"Harper-"

"Tired."

"You're going on trial in 6 months." He yelled, annoyed at being cut off.

"Whatever."

Dylan stormed out leaving Trance behind to talk to Harper about what had happened. 

Just before he reached command, he began to feel guilty. Harper had been through an unimaginable hell for five days, he would be ok; he just needed time. And friends. No matter how much he pushed them away.

Throughout the day, Beka began to feel the same way. She went to see him again, promising herself she would not get angry.

"Hey sport" she tried

He didn't respond. 

"Feeling any better?"

"Yes." He replied impassively.

"Come on Harper, where's my sparky little engineer?"

She touched his face and he flinched, backing as far away as possible on the med-bay bed. Beka knew the look on his face. She tried to ignore the added look of hatred.

Flashback- 

"Harper have you finished on the sensor array modifications yet?"

 Harper jumped back and started backing away from her as his eyes looked for a way out.

 "I…I've nearly finished, it won't take long I just need a few more minutes…they're nearly ready, I-"

 "Harper it's ok, I didn't really expect you to have finished them, stop backing away from me"

Harper froze and looked at her with a mixture of uncertainty and suspicion. And of course fear. The fear that Beka hated. With Trance he was fine, they laughed together, talked, had fun. It upset Beka that he was so scared of her.

 "Harper, we need to talk, let's sit down."

They sat down on the floor of engineering facing each other.

"Harper, I don't understand why you're so scared of me- you're not afraid of Trance"

Harper sighed.

"I'm sorry boss, one side of me knows that you never hurt me before, but, all my life I've been a kludge, and people do whatever they want with kludges."

"You're not a kludge, and if any ubers try to do anything to you, they'll have to get through me first."

He looked at her with a look that said 'yeah right'

"Whatever boss"

He stood up and got back to work

"I'm serious"

TBC

Part 5-A couple a Sparkys 

"Man is a history making creature

Who can neither repeat his past,

Nor leave it behind"

W. H. Auden

Spoilers- Its hour come 'round at last

Trance whispered in Beka's ear and they went just outside of med-bay to talk. Harper relaxed a little. Andromeda didn't feel like home anymore; he just felt like an unwanted guest. Beka swore she would never leave him behind, that she would protect him. He should never have trusted her. It felt like Earth. He couldn't trust anybody; nobody cared if he was there or not and he didn't want to be there. He vaguely wondered what Beka and Trance were talking about but he didn't really care. About anything actually. 

  Outside, Trance had engaged privacy mode and was talking to Beka about Harper. "Beka, I think I know why Harper's acting strange."

Beka opened her mouth to say something but Trance cut in.

"I found something in the scans- Beka I think that Harper may have suffered some sexual abuse over the last 5 days"

Beka got a far away look in her eyes. 

"I don't think it's that…" 

Beka remembered the first time Harper had had told her about a nightmare.

Flashback- Harper had woken from a nightmare and for the first time he was telling Beka about it. Beka was pleased that he finally trusted her so as not to flinch when she touched him.

"So this Niet was raping my brother"

 Beka pushed the disgust and anger she felt aside for fear of putting him off.

 "…and I yelled at him to stop, because my brother was only 6, and he turned on me-"

Beka couldn't however push this aside. The look of horror on her face forced Harper to stop.

"What?" He frowned.

"How can you say what? Rape is very very wrong," she said incredulously. 

He shrugged.

"Were you…I mean, did it ever…"

He laughed a laugh that sent shivers down her spine.

"Boss you don't get off Earth without it having happened at least twice"

Beka's face paled.

"How many..."

"4" he said suddenly embarrassed at making her upset.

"I swear, if anybody ever does that to you again, I will personally make sure that they never do anything again"

Harper looked down suddenly ashamed. She lifted his chin so he was looking at her.

"If you need anybody to talk to I'm here ok?"

"…ok" he said hesitantly 

Trance looked at her with confusion. 

"Why?"

"Just…trust me."

"What do you think it is?"

Beka glared at her.

"He has just been through 5 days of torture" she snapped.

Unfazed, Trance continued.

 "Well…you know him better than anyone Beka, maybe you should think about what it is so we can help him."

Beka stormed back into med-bay, feeling as though Trance were accusing her.

 She stopped at the sight of Harper. She couldn't believe what those nietzschean bastards had done to him. It wasn't fair; Harper deserved more than to go through his whole life being kludge to deranged bullies. She looked at his face. Tyr always called him 'boy' or 'child' but she realised that he had grown up too fast, and was beyond his years.  

"Harper?"

"Can't you take a hint Captain Valentine?"

She raised her eyebrows. He never called her Captain Valentine, and it sounded weird.

"Why are you acting like this?"

He didn't answer, but instead stared at her with an ice cold glare. 

She shivered.

"Look Trance told you- Dylan had to help the refugees on Helio and he saved hundreds of lives, we didn't know you were in trouble or I swear we would have come back for you. Dylan said he was sorry. Harper, I know I promised I would always protect you, but if I didn't know…what could I do? I'm sorry"

Something, Hope? Beka saw it flash across his face for less than a second but it had been there.

"Trance didn't tell you?"

Trance blushed and came up from behind her.

"I thought Dylan had told him."  
She decided that Harper needed time to think about this new information and suddenly realised that she hadn't seen Rommie in some time. She was pleased at seemingly making a step in the right direction, and so resolved to go and see her friend to make sure that she was ok. She knew how much Harper meant to her too.

Harper's mind was spinning. Suddenly, he wasn't so sure what to think. He knew he was still angry; but he wasn't so sure that it was directed at Beka anymore. He was angry at himself, and at his screwed up life. Why him? Why did the universe hate him so much? Trance had told him that he was becoming ill. No surprise there then. The blankets were so hot…or was it cold? He hated Med-bay. He came back to reality with a jerk as a nietzschean walked into med-bay. 

 "How are you holding up boy?"  

"Just perfect" Harper said sarcastically.

There was a slight pause.

"You do know I'm 27 right?"

Tyr moved closer. Harper moved further away. He glared at Tyr with a burning hatred. 

"As you very well know, I will not hurt you"

"So bite me"

"I'd rather not"

"Why are you here?"

"To check on you"

"Like you care."

"Andromeda has only one, much needed, engineer, my survival…"

"Alright already I get the point, but you could have just asked Rommie"

"I also consider you my…friend"

"Yeah well, you can just go away"

"Is there anything that you need?"

"A couple of sparkys might help."

Tyr went away and after a moment came back with a small box of six sparkys.

"Thanks" Harper mumbled.

"I also brought you some of your little…projects."

Tyr gave him some machine parts. Harper gave him a small smile. It didn't quite reach his eyes but Tyr thought it was a start. He decided to leave it on a good note and left.

Beka found Rommie in machine shop 17; studying an empty sparky cola can.

"Rommie?

She turned around.

"Yes Beka?"

"Do you want to talk?"

Rommie fell silent. Beka was about to drop it when she asked:

"Why can't I protect him?"

"Rommie, it wasn't your fault"

Rommie carried on in a quiet voice,

"I couldn't protect my commonwealth crew, and I can't protect Harper. I'm a *warship* Beka; I don't understand.

"Rommie, believe me I know how you feel, I promised Harper a long time ago that I would try to protect him, but with the larvae, and now this…"

Beka looked at Rommie with defeat and frustration written on her face.

"I swore to kill anybody who..who…"

"Beka, I know about the…about what Trance found, my commonwealth scanners are reasonably advanced; I sort of found out as soon as he came onboard. He just told me never to tell Dylan and to just forget about it. Said he didn't want any looks of pity."

There was a pause as this information sunk in.

"When he told me, he didn't even know it was wrong. When he first came onboard the Maru, he thought that ubers had the right to do whatever they wanted with him."

"Beka, he's my *engineer* and he's…my friend. But when I went to see him in med-bay he pushed me away. He's never pushed me away before. There is so much anger, so much hatred, and…pain inside of him. I wish I could take it away"

Rommie sadly looked down with tear-filled eyes.

"I think that after being on Andromeda, and then have an attack that brought back so many memories; it hit Harper like a ton of bricks that most of the things that have happened in his life, were wrong. I think that he's been putting that admission off for some time-and now he wants to know why his life has been filled up with so much pain,"

"Do you think that we should bring in a psychiatrist or a counsellor?"

"No, Harper's a survivor; I know he'll get through this."

"Should we tell Dylan?"

"I don't think should, we both know that Harper doesn't want us to and we really need him to trust us right now."

"What about the trial?"

"I won't let them lock Harper away. End of story."

"But…"

"I don't give a damn about the commonwealth rules and regulations Rommie; I will NOT let them lock him away."

TBC

Part 6-The sparkle

I can't seem to find myself again

My walls are closing in

(Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced

that there's just too much pressure to take)

I've felt this way before so insecure     

 Crawling-Linkin Park

"Seamus-"

"Don't call me that."

Beka sighed.

"Harper, talk to me."

"What?!"

"Come on Harper; I already know most of it- Just tell me what's wrong now"

"Why?"

"Because I miss the old Harper. Please?"

Beka sighed.

"Look; I…I always thought that- well you know, Tyr and Dylan are sort of best friends, and Rommie and Trance always stay up talking at night and they sort of…well- I always thought that we were best friends"

"Really?"

"I know it sounds kind of stupid- but we tell each other so much and…you know."

"Great. I hope you realise you'll probably die soon."

"What?! Harper- what do you mean?"

"Well let's see, I've had 5 best friends in the past and they're all dead, I've had 16 cousins, 7 siblings, my parents, my grand-parents, 6 aunts and uncles, and they are all dead except for one who is probably dead. It doesn't take a freakin genius to work out the friggin maths!"

"Harper- we're not on Earth anymore"

"It's not Earth! It's me."

"Harper stop it- what made you think that? You're off Earth now; we are not going to die anytime soon"

"I'll never get away from Earth"

"Harper, I promise this will never happen again, please don't do this, you're safe on Andromeda."

"Yeah right!"

************

Beka left to fly andromeda to their next destination reluctantly. Harper wondered why he was thinking the way he was, and trying to stop. He had never thought this way before- so why now? Beka was right, this wasn't like him, and he didn't like it. But then again it was true wasn't it? His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Tyr. He made a conscious effort not to be scared. 

"How are you holding up little professor?"

"Been better." Harper was getting a little bit sick of being asked that.

"When are you going to leave med-bay?"

"Dunno."

Tyr sighed in frustration

"When are you going to get over this and move on boy? Andromeda needs you, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get up and do something"

Trance came in to med-bay glaring at Tyr.

"Tyr, I don't want to have to order you out of med-bay"

Tyr ignored her.

"After a life time of surviving you are going to let this one thing destroy you? That doesn't sound like the Harper I know, You survived your worst nightmare- what else is there? Surely now you can get through anything."

"Tyr! Get out!"

"No Wait! Tyr's right." Harper sat up on the bed.

"I'm going to engineering"  
Tyr smiled.

"No you are not"  
"Trance, I'm not staying in med-bay any longer, If anything happens, Tyr will go and get you"

Trance secretly jumped for joy. Harper was back.

"Fine but Tyr, stay with him at all times, if anything happens…"

"We'll be fine."

Tyr and Harper set off for engineering.

 ************

An exhausted Beka arrived in med-bay. Harper was surrounded in mechanical junk. Carefully trying to avoid the cola cans and machine parts on the floor she made her way over to Harper who was smiling at her. She smiled back. As she came over Harper hugged her. Surprised she looked at him in confusion.

"That's a bit of a turn around"

"Yeah, Moping just didn't suit me so I threw it out the airlock. With the help of you and Tyr of course" 

Beka just smiled.

"Am I really your best friend?"

"Well if I figured if I wasn't your best friend, no-one else would want to be"

"Thanks a lot!"

"Hey I know I tease you a lot, but you're always there for me."

"Sure I'm not just last resort?"

Beka laughed. 

She wasn't tired anymore. The sparkle was back.

TBC

Are we really at part 7?  I can't believe it ended up so long! 

Part 7- The Trial 

"A morning without coffee is like something without something else"

…"Seamus Zelazny Harper. This court has found you guilty, and we sentence you to 30 years imprisonment."…

Harper woke with a start. He looked around to check he was still on the Andromeda, and not in some prison cell. He shuddered and sat on the edge of his bed. Andromeda's hologram appeared and crossed her arms.

"If it helps, the chances of you getting 30 years imprisonment are minimal."

He looked up at her confused.

"You talk in your sleep…Do you want me to get my avatar?"

"NO! I mean, nah…it's ok." He stood up sleepily and grabbed a sparky.                                                                                      

"Is it too much to ask for a little privacy around here?"

"Privacy mode engaged."

She disappeared. He sat on the bed tiredly and sighed. The closer it came to the trial, the more vivid the nightmares. They weren't as bad as some of his regular nightmares, but they were coming every night and at least once a week he needed a dream about babes, surfing and sparkys as respite. Miserably he opened the sparky and downed it in one. Standing up he leaned on the wall for support; waiting for the caffeine to work its' magic. Opening his second he began to get ready to go to engineering, and by the time he was done, he had finished his 5th.

   As soon as he left his room, Rommie detected the extreme amounts of the offensive liquid in his system and appeared in front of him.

 "Harper, that is *very* unhealthy, and don't give me that look, you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Look, it's for your own good Rom-Doll, I can't fix you if I'm asleep can I?"

"The trial is tomorrow, you don't have to work Harper."  
"I don't see what the big deal is; I always drink a ton of sparky."

"And I always tell you how unhealthy it is, besides, 5 before you even get to work is excessive even for you."

"Look, I'm fine ok? Just leave me alone"

Andromeda disappeared.

As soon as he hit engineering, Harper got a message to go and see Dylan. Surely Rommie didn't tell Dylan. Well it didn't really matter, nobody but nobody was gonna stop him from drinking Sparky. Still, he couldn't help but feel annoyed at Rommie. 

He entered Dylan's office and looking somewhere over Dylan's right shoulder, he carefully remained impassive. 

"You called?"

"Harper, I think you know what this is about."

"Look, Sparkys are my favourite drink, and if you wanna go hear the story of what happens when ya separate Harper and Sparky, go talk to Beka, but believe me, it's not pretty."

"Harper, I'm talking about the trial tomorrow."

"Oh, right."

"I'm going to be your defence and-"

"Can't Beka?"

"If she wants to, I suppose she could be your defence, but I do know what I'm doing"

"You don't even know what happened."

"I would if you told me..?"

"I killed some Niets"

"I thought you just said I didn't know what happened."

"Look I gotta go repair…something…probably…in engineering, so if you don't mind."

  "Harper, I don't mind if you don't want to talk about it, I'll find out at the trial anyway."

"Fine, now I've got work to do, so unless there's anything else?"  
"Just one thing"

"What?"

"Try to cut down on the Sparkys."

"Whatever."

And with that he left.

Heading towards engineering, Harper couldn't believe how tired he still was. He quickly repressed resurfacing memories. Ok, so he wasn't *that* tired, but still. He realised that he would get into trouble if he had another sparky, so he quickly veered off towards the mess hall to make himself a coffee. When he got there Beka was making toast. Getting out the instant coffee, Beka watched in disbelief as he put three times the amount of coffee into a mug and dropped in a couple of sugar cubes. 

  "Harper that's disgusting."

"What? First Rommie, then Dylan, and now you, leave me alone already!"

"Hmm, someone got out on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Are you worried about tomorrow?"

Sipping the coffee, Harper shuddered and made a face, it was disgusting.

"Nah, I'm sure a good book will pass away the hours in prison. Hey, maybe I could write one!"

"Come on Harper, you'll be fine."

 "Well, I'd rather hear it from Trance, but I still don't think they are going to let me off this one Bex."

"Look, if I say you'll be fine, you will be, you understand? Now listen; that was on Earth, this is now. BIG difference."

"I guess…"

"Have I ever lied to you Harper?

"Yes."

"That's not the point, you know what I mean."

"Fine."

Swallowing the rest of the coffee Harper made a face and dumped the mug on the side.

"Harper, you don't need caffeine. You need sleep." Beka marged her toast. She wasn't sure why she had said it, she had a pretty good idea what was causing the sudden need for extra caffeine. Harper adjusted his tool belt slightly and called behind him as he walked out the door.

"Yeah well we can't always have what we want."

Beka sighed worriedly. Chomping on her toast. She nearly jumped when Harper popped his head round the door sheepishly.

"Oh, and by the way; you're my defence"

 Before she could say anything he was gone. She frowned; she had no idea what to do tomorrow. She didn't want to be the one held responsible if things went wrong. And when it came to Harper, anything that could go wrong, doubled its' chances of going wrong.

************

When Harper got to engineering he found Trance waiting for him. Would nobody let him get on with engineering? It was his friggin job for divine's sake. 

"Harper, are you sure you don't want to rest, Dylan's given you the day off, and tomorrow, you'll need to be awake."  
  "Look, I have only just filled myself up with caffeine, you are so not making me rest, now if everybody could please just leave me alone I can do my freakin job!"

"Fine, have it your way, but if you get sent to prison because you fell asleep in the courtroom, don't blame me."  
She stormed out. Finally! He got to work and began to relax a little. Wait, what had Trance just said?! He was already trying to ignore all the different possibilities he could think of, he didn't need Trance's help. 

_The next day_

Harper woke groggily and rolled onto the floor with a thud. He lay there for a while, and then with some effort hoisted himself up. Looking in the mirror, he winced. He looked like hell. In fact, he looked like a criminal. He definitely needed to do something about it. Splashing his face with cold water and spiking up his hair, he didn't look much better. He got ready and made his way to the mess hall to have some toast and coffee.

He then made his way to Command. 

Dylan frowned when he saw Harper

"Do you want to check in with Trance before we go?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Trance, Rommie and Tyr are going to stay on board, this part of space isn't known for its hospitality, Beka, Harper, let's go."  
The three landed on the planet with relative ease and made their way to the courts. 

"Beka, Good Luck, I know you can do this."

"I guess we'll see."

 ************

"This commonwealth court, brings forward Seamus Zelazny Harper, on account of the murder of seven Nietzschean Officers, How do you plead."  
 "Guilty."  
 "Is there anything else you wish to say?"  
 "Yes, umm…but I think that the uhh extenuating circumstances, justified my actions…"  
  Beka sighed. This was going to be a long day.

The prosecution stood up and walked towards the jury."

"I put it to you that there is no justification for murder."

"My lord, I call Seamus Harper to the stand"

"Proceed" 

  "Mr. Harper, could you please relate to us, the details and circumstances of each murder?"  

Andromeda-

 "…Rommie?"  
 "Yes Trance?"  
 "Could I talk to you?"  
 "Sure."

"Rommie, I think we should help Dylan and Beka."  
 "How?"  
 "I've got an idea, but I need your help."  
 "O.k."

  
************

"Seamus Harper; the jury have reviewed the evidence for and against and I have come to a decision. Despite the seriousness of the crime, it has become apparent, that the situation, was a heavy influence on your actions, and as the situation was clearly not your fault, you are sentenced to 4 years imprisonment, to be let out early for good behaviour-"  
 "WAIT!"  
Rommie ran into the courtroom.

"You can't do that, there is new evidence!"  
 "Excuse me but this is a court of commonwealth law. Who might you be?"  
 "I am Andromeda, and this will prove to you that you can't put my engineer in prison."

 "Objection-"  
 "Denied-proceed."  
 "The cameras on Andromeda record everything on the ship, all the time. Here is a video that proves Harper is an invaluable member of the crew, who has helped and saved the lives of many people. As a crew we are trying to resurrect the Commonwealth throughout the universe. If you take Harper away, you are jeopardising the future."  
 "Well, I must say these are highly unusual actions by the defence…"  
 "The whole courtroom watched the Video that Rommie had put forward and at the end, the judge paused, for what seemed like forever before saying:

 "Following this evidence, Seamus Zelazny Harper will be sentenced to two years probation under the supervision of Captain Dylan Hunt of the commonwealth."  
A cheer went up from the Andromeda crew and everybody lived happily ever after, because of course, Harper would never get into trouble on probation, two years of being good….easy……

 The end


End file.
